14 May 2013 Anno Domini
by Sofia Guerra
As I sit today praying my Breviary, I find the Psalms contained within so comforting. The last several weeks, actually over a month I have been in a spiritual dryness and sadness which was worse than any physical sickness I have endured.
I couldn’t understand why all I wanted to do was stay in the house, try to work on the blog and reread “Mansfield Park” by Jane Austen for the 300th time. It wasn’t depression as it was more of an aching sadness about the state of the world and of course the Church.
I tried to pray so very much. the more I tried, the more I found my self shedding tears only uttering, “Jesus, help me…” I know now that was the only prayer I needed to offer.
I turned to my sister in Christ and dear friend Lisa Graas, (@CatholicLisa on Twitter and the CatholicBandita – her blog) I filled her DM column in Twitter with rambling messages asking for help. Her response was of course, the right medicine. She told me it was a good idea to take some time off and get outside. I have written about it in a prior post HERE.
However, the most important thing she said to me was, “I know it’s hard but I keep thinking of PJPII. Be not afraid.” Bullseye! I have never experienced fear truthfully until now…spiritually experiencing it is so much more paralyzing than physical fear. It was as if the Holy Spirit delivered the message to her for me.
So I got outside, left fear behind and everything felt as if I was freed. I came back to the blog the following week and lasted ONE DAY. Sarah, one of my interns and family member had to take the blog back again and post.
This time however, I was not afraid but angst seemed to be trying to rear its’ ugly head. Once again. This time was different as I was praying joyfully with all my heart, adoring Christ in Adoration and was NOT AFRAID.I asked to be shown the answer to this. I was given it.
Everyday, day in and day out this promoter of infanticide and brutality and murder was on trial. All the information was coming out in full now. As someone involved with the Pro-Life movement I was quite aware of Gosnell. to hear it and see it on the news, well that is quite another story.
Of course, the media virtually ignored it except for Fox Network’s Kimberly Guilfoyle who sat in the empty reserved media area in the courtroom daily. As a former prosecutor and a devoted mother this could have been her case. Thank you Kimberly for your resolve.
I have to say that my Pro-Life brothers and sisters on Social Media forced the world to learn who this monster was and what he did. We owe these people our gratitude forever, because they did it. They made the world look at the horror of abortion. Thank you all.
I must thank in particular, LifeNews.com (Steven Ertelt & Co.), LiveActionNews.org (Lila Rose & Co.) and most of all, Lisa Graas (CatholicBandita.com) for never giving up in this fight. They work so hard without ceasing and particularly during the Gosnell trial to get people to understand a simple fact: The baby in the womb is human, not anything else. the baby in the womb deserves the same attention the babies born alive and murdered by the hand of this ogre and his staff received. Will we learn? I hope so.
I think our country and maybe some places outside our borders also changed yesterday. I think now those on the LUKEWARM fence about abortion will come to Truth and will now be honored to call themselves Pro-Life. I will pray for this daily. I will also pray for the conversion of Kermit Gosnell. Like the beloved late Dr.Bernard Nathanson there is always hope.
I now understand… my angst, spiritual dryness and aching sadness came as a direct spiritual attack. but I am not afraid. Bring it on, father of lies. I know the battle is won, Jesus promised us that. And He only speaks TRUTH because He is Truth.
She wants all of us to come to her Son. This is her job. she accepted it the day she gave her Fiat to the Archangel Gabriel and to the Holy Spirit. She was not afraid. she was truly Pro Life. she gave us our Savior. You are truly loved O Mary, Queen of Heaven.