Layna Hess in her words: “I am a 23 year old Catholic girl that is in love with our Lord. My one desire is to share my love and knowledge of God in a simplified way.” We think she does just that. Layna has contributed to Always Catholic Blog a couple years back with her writing. She’s back writing after a two year hiatus.We hope Layna will be moved to write as much as possible. As long as she writes she has a home here at Always Catholic. Here is her first of two pieces she published on April 8, 2015. Her other posts may be found at her blog, “My Thoughts, My Words“.
by Layna Hess at her blog,
“My Thoughts, My Words”
I haven’t written in a very long time, but I miss it terribly. I keep on coming to my blog and I stare at it with the intention to write, but nothing ever comes to my mind. I’ve been debating between: “should I write with just raw, honest, emotion?” or “should I write and preach, even though my own spiritual life is struggling?” I would feel hypocritical. I can’t write when I’m struggling in a spiritual sense. There is much that I am confused about in my own spiritual life. Because of this confusion, I will be leaving for California next month, and I’ll be starting a new life, while getting my spiritual life in order. I appreciate your prayers.
I have chosen to write with an honest approach. I’m not sure why, but to this day I still receive numerous comments telling me to continue to write, and that pushes me to want to write. I never made it “big” in the blogging world, but to the few that did take the time to read…I appreciate it. Some of you have actually expressed that my posts help you in your own spiritual life. I’ll admit, when I first started writing I just did it for me. I didn’t really expect to have any readers. To know that I have been able to help some people is amazing, and I couldn’t have done it without the grace of God.
To those that read my page, I see you as friends automatically. To my friends, I don’t want to hide when I’m in the darkest of times. Struggling is part of the Christian life. We aren’t saints yet. All I’ve ever been on this blog was real. I can’t count how many times I’ve mentioned suffering .
I suppose the reason why I’ve mentioned suffering a lot in my writings is because I have had my share of suffering. In fact, I deal with it daily. I suffer from depression, and that’s the cross I have to endure. Some days are easier than others, I’ll admit. Because of this, I’m forced to live for joyful moments because I never know what tomorrow will bring. Even in the worst case scenario, I still try to find beauty in everything. I never feel defeated, because I never give up.
I always tell myself “This too, shall pass” and that has always helped me through hard times.
Though I don’t always feel God, I trust He’s there. I know He watches over me and loves me. That reminder is enough for me to make it another day.
One of the main struggles I’ve been dealing with is loneliness. Loneliness is something we all struggle with, and it becomes even harder when you feel like you can no longer hear God. I think part of the problem for me is I tune Him out with various distractions and often my depression (and sin) alters my way of thinking to the point where I feel unworthy. “Why would He want anything to do with me?” I start thinking to myself.
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